something useful

Word on Majeedhee Magu is that I have been blogging for quite sometime, and when I look back, I see that my posts have always had a hint of cynicism. So I asked myself while crossing the equator on a plane that had no snakes: why not write something useful for a change? Hence, here I am; with my not so trusted laptop on my desk and typing up from the pages of time, some lessons in life that I hold near and dear to my heart.

calm as a monk on morphine - mr. miyagi is the grand sensei of all lessons

1. Never throw away the cup you used for alms

We all go through that phase where we have to watch what adults watch...except porn. It was during one of these musings at a Dhivehi 'movie' when the lead actor's mom, girlfriend, and his best friend dupes him. And the best part is...wait-for-it...the best friend shags our dark knight's  girlfriend. So not to be outdone, our heart-broken hero tells his two-timing lass that he still kept the cup he used for alms as a kid. Call me stupid but I have taken these words to heart even as a kid as clueless as a blind man on a dark night. I told myself that no matter what heights I reach, both figurative and literal, I would never forget where I came from.

2. Prayers will never make you late

When I grew up I was very much closer to my mom as compared to my dad and hence, she bossed me around quite often when it came to simple things. Then again, men were created to being bossed around by women through out their lives. Going back to the subject at hand, I was preparing to go to school and as luck would have it, I had to poop. I am not talking about the 'oh I think I might have to poop but I am not sure' poop. No. This was the 'if I don't poop in the next fraction of a second, I would poop my bowels out on the floor' poop. So after I did that which must not be named, I had a few minutes left to go to school and I still had not prayed. I told my mom that there wasn't enough time to pray and make it to school in time and she said, "You'll never get late because of a prayer." I proceeded to pray and I made it to school on time. Since then, I have tried to never skip a prayer because I might get late to a place.

3. Don't wish to be someone else

I would like to start off with a quote from one of my favorite authors, George R. R. Martin. "Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you." No. I did not go into any battles aside from the occasional skirmish against the demonic behemoths known as cockroaches. Anyways, wishing to be someone else...When I was going through college, I had to study history and it was a subject I hated with a passion. I failed the first few tests and there was no silver lining whatsoever on the dark cloud that was history. My roommate on the other hand was having a blast with history. He breezed through every exam as if it was a marshmallow. I was wishing I was him throughout the whole ordeal. Enter sophomore year and physics. I am not the sharpest, but physics, for me, is actually fun. I soared over the physics exams as free as a Nazgul when most of my classmates struggled with it. Then on one fine day someone told me that he wished he could do physics as easily as me. And I learned about being true to myself.

4. Trust your children

I said children because I learned this lesson from a mom-son perspective. Unlike the aforementioned point about my innocence and being clueless, this happened during the not-so innocent times of my life. I was thirteen and one of my neighbors started a rumor that I tore all my test papers after I got back the results. Needless to say, I was more surprised than offended. But I had to watch out for any possible backlash from my parents. Come that night. My mom called me aside and asked me if what was said about me was true. I said I never did that. That was all I said and my mom believed me. I was surprised. Actually surprised is an understatement. I was shocked. It was my word against the word of a grown up man! She later told me that she trusts her kids first and others second when it comes to such issues and told me to remember it always. Now that I am somewhat grown up, I use it when it comes to dealing with my minions. Trust, it seems, builds more bridges than steel or gold.

5. Your weakness may one day become your strength

When I grew up, there was one thing I hated with as much passion as earth shattering multiple orgasms: writing. Specially in English. I did it with good reason too. I couldn't write if my life depended on it. Writing an essay was the most gruesome of tasks that could befall me. But today I can say I can write a coherent document without much trouble, and have become somewhat... okay okay...I have become a ruthless grammar Nazi. You might wonder where I am going with all this blabber about not being able to write and all. When I studied, English and Dhivehi were my weakest subjects.

So there you have it. Some lessons I have learned in my life. My only hope is that it's something useful. Until next time. Adios.