Tuesday, September 15, 2009

dhiraagu to introduce prayers via sms

all the images are courtesy of Google

Dhiraagu has just launched a new service to the public in its latest series of new and extravagant things you can do by an sms. This new service is the ability to perform the five daily prayers just by sending an sms. Isn't that easy? Dhiraagu knows perfectly well how to monopolize the market and fend off any competition from all the other networks. This was announced just moments after Dhiraagu introduced paying alms (Zakaath) by an sms.

Some of you cynical types may ask, "How much does Dhiraagu charge for this service?" The answer is really simple. It is all based on a demand and supply basis. Let us say there is Ali who prays five times regularly using Dhiraagu. More prayers means the probability of him going to heaven is more. Therefore he will be charged Mrf. 10 for every prayer compared to Ahmed who prays once every other day. Ahmed will be charged Mrf. 2 for every sms because he is damned to burn in hell already. It's too much? How can it be so? We are talking about eternal salvation and an afterlife of heavenly beauties, 72 of them to be exact, and every pleasure you can imagine. Dhiraagu marketing manager, alfaalil honorable highness his excellency mister Ahmed Shaafiu said that 10 Ruffiya is actually a big loss for Dhiraagu to provide such heavenly service. "We have to establish connections with up above and it takes a lot of expense to deliver those sms on time." He explained. "Speaking of time, this service will also allow people to perform prayers that have passed the time (i.e. Galoa namaadhu)." When asked about how the service works, he replied, "Just type I PRAY followed by a space followed by the name of the prayer in an sms and send it to 1800-GOD-R-US and you're one step closer to heaven."

When asked on the success of this new service, Shaafiu said that the sales of Dhiraagu prepaid kits have sky rocketed and they are already generating a lot of revenue, especially from the religious types who can now get their 70 virgins much less painfully than blowing themselves up. He concluded by saying that Dhiraagu is working on a way to allow people to perform the pilgrimage by sending an sms. "We have a long way to go before we bear the fruit. It costs a lot of money for sending the sms and we are thinking of a way to squeeze.. uhh i mean.. provide the service at affordable costs."