image courtesy of http://www.fivewaysshiatsu.co.uk/
It's been a while since I have posted anything and wanted to come back with a BANG this time... (pause for apllause) Thank you... So it seems things have been quite crazy in the crowdiest, most dangerous, craziest, shitiest, most.. err okay, enough with the supelatives.. (pause for mild laughter) capital of the world aka Male'.
The latest news on my mind is the issue of the Israelis in our beloved country. Sure, we have no place for the star of David on our national colors and neither do we want to ally with the scum of the Earth that are jews... (pause for cheer) but, I must say, seriously people? You got nothing better to do than get out of your houses and protest in the streets just because some Jews are in the country? (let the news sink in)
Go ahead, hate me for what I am about to say.. curse me.. well, not literally.. I'm too young to die yet.. need to do certain things before I pass away (knock on wood)
Sorry, I got carried away there. Getting back on track, the Israelis are here! Their doctors are operating on our people because we lack the most essential of health care. Not to mention they do have their own agendas as well; such as gathering intelligence on our country, promoting their values, and gaining symapthy for their cause. I'm probably confusing you right now, aren't I? (audience nods in agreement)
HORSE SHIT!! I'm not advocating them being in the Maldives any more than I advocate our government officials running the country, but hey.. it is out of my control. (quick smile at the audience)
The presence of the Israeli (these people are a cause for trouble. I'm having a hard time with the spelling itself. Imagine how the people would be!) doctors did not bother be much just because they are Jews. Two things bothered me;
1. There are Islamic countries who have good doctors (to be fair, any country has better health care systems than us) but I do not see their teams of doctors coming into the country to help our folks. All I see are people who come to give sermons and promote the religion. Dude, we need REAL aid to this country from you people. The Israeli team does have their own agendas for coming to this country, but even so, they have the stone-clad balls to come here, a 100% Muslim country, and do their thing in the name of medicine. Why cannot the Muslim countries provide the same health even with their own agendas. It is not much with all the oil they are drilling from the earth each day.
2. The haste with which we (*sniff* I have to include myself as well) judge others are simply.. what is a good word to decribe.. (keep the audience guessing).. aaah yes, preposterous! We do not have the right to judge anyone else. Who am I, or you, to decide how someone else is? (for the sake of argument, I can judge you all for who you are in this post)
There, that is my beef with all the protesters from the weekend. Stop stereotyping! Have you forgotten the new born baby who was thrown away at Hulhumale? Did the Israelis make the mother do that? What about all the freaking deaths caused by stabbing? Are the Israelis responsible for that? HELL NO! It is the good for nothing Maldivians who did all that! Furthermore, they cannot be convicted because of lack of evidence. AAAAARRRRGHH!! If I stab someone in front of everyone, what more evidence do you need? Well, in my case, you will not need because I am expendible (wait for a sympathetic 'awwww' from the audience)
The acts from the weekend does nothing but diminish our place in the world. Do not get me wrong, I am not happpy with the idea of establishing diplomatic ties with Israel. The reason for that is far beyond my scope of reach, but why don't the Islamic organizations and teams in the Maldives establish better ties with the Islamic countries. The same goes to the government and the President. This is a cause for major concern (temporary interruption: *salute* Major Concern) We need to make sure that the aid from the Islamic countries are not limited to providing an hour long speech about religion but rather that it provides more physical aid.
This part of the post is for our good-for-nothing opposition politicians. The only reason you created a fuss about the whole thing is to oppose the government. If you are all so keen to protect the religion as you claim, you would have done a better job with all the bills and everything that goes in your circus.. oops I meant to say the parliament. (pause for laughter) So, you are not any better than the Israelis who are here. Atleast they have the chocolate-covered-titanium balls (girls love it and guys cannot crush it) to show up with their hidden agendas.
Anyway, I think I have rambled enough for tonight. I would like to leave you with two things. First, we can marry a Jewish woman. If they are such a bad people, would our religion allow it? Secondly, look at the hand on the top of this article. The fingers are of different colors and are of different length. Does the red pinky make the hand any less of a hand? Does the yellow thumb hinder its grip? (wait for the audience to disagree) Exactly! We have to judge the hand for what it can do regardless of what it looks like or the length of its fingers. Likewise, regardless of whether a person is a Muslim, Jew, Christian, Hindu, or any of the other hundred or so religions in the world, what matters is whether the person is a good human. The rest of the judgement is up to God. And FYI, the pinky is yellow and the thumb is red. I was testing your attentiveness. Adios... (standing ovation)
