10. Butlers
Do unto others as thou want to be done unto you. So do not mess with your butler because he knows all your secrets including your super alter-ego and your nightly rituals in the bedroom. Just imagine if Alfred was to call out Bruce Wayne and kill him. He would get paid a shit load of money from every villain in the DC Universe. So remember folks, it could have been Alfred begins instead of Batman begins...
9. Teachers
This one doesn't need much of an explanation. Piss off your teachers and their ghosts will haunt you for the rest of your life. FYI: I made a habit of pissing off my teachers when I was a kid and since then I have dated two teachers, tried to date two, and almost worked it out with another teacher. Not to mention that my sister is a teacher, and almost all of my cousins are teachers too (male and female alike). My brother said it was bad karma. It's like getting herpes. You think it's gone, and voila, one pops up from nowhere!
8. The Wolverine
He makes this list just because he is a bad ass. You don't even have to piss him off for him to come after you with his adamantium claws and make manburger meat out of you. The boogeyman may check the closet for Chuck Norris, but Chuck Norris is too damned chicken to even look for the Wolverine!
7. Barbers
First of all, you won't be mutilated (the way sweeney does) by your barber if you piss him off. But you will wish he had after he fucks up your hair like it has never been fucked up before. Always remember, the man who has the knife always gets the last laugh. MUAhaHAHAhahaHAHAha (repeat to fade)
6. Waiters
This comes along the same line as butlers but on a much more horrific level. What's the worst a butler could do? Kill you and that's it. A waiter on the other hand can spit in your food or drink, and you will gladly stuff your face with food completely oblivious to the fact that you have the waiter's saliva in your mouth. Might as well french kiss him, right? And that lemonade you are drinking, are you sure it's lemonade? HMMMMMMMMmmmm?
This comes along the same line as butlers but on a much more horrific level. What's the worst a butler could do? Kill you and that's it. A waiter on the other hand can spit in your food or drink, and you will gladly stuff your face with food completely oblivious to the fact that you have the waiter's saliva in your mouth. Might as well french kiss him, right? And that lemonade you are drinking, are you sure it's lemonade? HMMMMMMMMmmmm?
5. Blowjobbers
In case you didn't know, a blowjobber is someone who participates in the act of giving oral sex to a guy. So imagine the girl in the picture is that hot girl you wanted for so long. Imagine the banana in her mouth is your 'wand.' Imagine that she is giving you the greatest time of your life. Imagine you have pissed her off by flirting with another girl. Now imagine her biting a chunk off of the banana. Enough said!
4. Dentists
Has anyone ever had a pleasant time at the dentist? Regardless of the procedure you want, you will suffer utter agony at the hands of the white-lab-coat-wearing maniac who will put Jigsaw from the saw movies to shame. "This may hurt a litte" "Please stay still" "You might feel a little sting" are just some words of 'comfort' you hear at the dentist. There is no comprehending what the dentist would do if you were to actually piss him off. Pretty much he will make love to your mouth with a huge ass drill! The only consolation I can think of is to say this when he gives you the bill, "This may hurt a little doc, I forgot my wallet." HAH! Suck on that BITCH!
1. (also 2 and 3) Ursula
The consequences of pissing off the Sea Witch Ursula is so great that she wins the first three spots in this list. In short, Ursula is the personification of women. Never ever piss off a woman because you will ultimately be hunted down and gutted until none of your remains remain!! Oh and she will do it with a smile too. If you haven't been burned by a woman yet, you haven't lived. Then again, we men say that out of envy to actually mean you've been lucky bro!
10 comments:
Ah. Nice list. But you forget your barber.
Every time the guy holds a razor to my neck, I pray to the heavens that he's not somebody I accidentally ticked off.
Ever.
now this is what happens if you ever piss off your butler
http://www.spaceavalanche.com/2009/02/16/batman/, more people need to respect the waiters and....is...that...wolve..??? *slash*
Nicely written. I like.
thats all the complimenting you are going to get.
also, i try to never piss off a waiter. for the exact same reason.
@Yaamyn: yeah one 'accidental' slip and the razor ends up in your neck. not a comfortable thought.
@Anonymous: hahaha you got caught by the wolv.. *slash*
@Iya: i assumed it'd be hard to get a compliment from you. so thanks. and yeah, waiters shud be left alone at all costs.
Pissing off teachers never do any good. nicely written. I love it...you left one person from that list Ibrahim Maiz that is.
@IBRAHIM: Thanks for the comment. Yeah I could have put you on the list, but then you'll hog up all the spots on the list! can't have that happening, right?
Am I glad I cut my own hair.
ALSO: Ursula, huh?.
MAN THE HARPOONS.
Good list.
These days I would also say its not advisable to piss off your IT tech support person! All sorts of things will start happening to you.
@the Shadowrunner: good for you. I tried cutting my own hair, ended up taking everything off in the end. And yeah, Ursula is the worst of em.
@XResistance: Yeah I thought about the IT Tech guy, but I didn't think most people would get it so I ignored it. Maybe I'd include them in my next list.
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