a letter of apology to mohamed ibthihaal

(Author's note: If you haven't heard about the incident please have a look here)

Dear Mohamed Ibthihaal,

It is with great regret I inform you that we have failed you as a society. We're deeply saddened by the brutal incident and would like to point out the deepest disappointment in our own selves at the time of this heartbreaking murder. Please do not despair or think your death went unnoticed, because the nation collectively condemns, in the harshest of words, your inhumane death.

Ibthihaal. I'm sorry your picture is plastered on every newspaper and every news outlet today so that we can all feel good by feeling bad about our own negligence. Only through such sensationalisation are we able to keep our focus on a single event. Having said that, I'm sorry that we would soon forget you and your death would just be a number in the myriads of manslaughters in this nation.

I'm sorry, Ibthihaal, that we as a society do not concern ourselves with the wellbeing of others. It's not like we knew your mother was abusing you for the past 3 years. I'm sorry, but, as a society, we don't look at children born out of wedlock as part of the community. I'm sorry that we look at such children as a bad omen and would like to keep our own safe from you. As such, we chose to ignore you because you didn't really belong to our close-knit family in the island. I'm sorry that we punish children for the sins of their parents. I'm sorry that we see you for nothing less than the sinful spawn of two adulterers. On that note, I'm also sorry that we could not identify who your father was. I'm sorry we live in a system where only his confession would have confirmed him your father as four grown men didn't see him fornicate with your mother, whose word, by the way, holds no meaning in court.

Ibthihaal, you don't know me but I'm sorry, because even if we cared, we live in a system that does not allow preemptive action. I'm sorry we live in a society that's content with letting child abusers and pedophiles walk free because, one: it's not our child and two: we don't have evidence. We are sorry but please understand that we can't really take the words of a child against an adult, and in some cases, their blood relatives. Sometimes, even their own parents. I'm sorry you didn't grow up to be an adult, because if so, you would be able to have solace in the fact that there are many others like you who grew up bruised, battered, and molested. Because, by then, you would realize, and I am very embarrassed to say this, that you weren't the first child we failed.

I'm sorry that everyone of us will use your image and your story to further our agenda. I'm sorry that even though we will likely find people who were accomplices to your murder through negligence, we will not address the root cause of this issue. I'm sorry that none of the policy makers, the grassroots, or even taxpayers would find the need to address such issues during political debates, unless it has something to do with overthrowing the person in power. However, it is with great pleasure I inform you, that we will find a scapegoat for your death and we will punish all parties involved directly. Then, I'm afraid and I'm really sorry to say this, we will sweep this issue under the rug.

i'm sorry that even though we feel sad, we'll forget everything about you very soon

I'm sorry...I'm sorry you didn't grow up to enjoy life to the fullest. Please be rest assured that you did indeed have a wonderful future ahead of you such as education, sports, friends, and most importantly, a life. I'm sorry we failed in our duties but we hope you understand and forgive us because we had bigger issues at hand. One as young as you wouldn't understand the consequences of music shows, political rivalries, or the importance of promoting xenophobia even at the cost of overlooking the current cancers in our society. I'm sorry we were too busy swimming in our own pile of hypocrisy and I'm sorry the only solace our religious clerics could offer you is the dangers of fornication to a society.

Mohamed Ibthihaal, I sincerely hope that you accept our deepest apologies because your death would be in vain and we would do nothing besides angry/sad posts on social media or pass pictures of you around and, as I noted earlier, feel good by feeling bad about you.

I'm sorry.

Very Respectfully,

The Republic of Maldives

if maldivian institutions were honest

DISCLAIMER: Please excuse my photo editing skills. I used Powerpoint (read: Excel) to make these images. For a better view, just click on the first picture and you can go through the pictures as a slideshow.

The following post is rated 'H' for Honest!

#1

#2

 #3

#4

#5

#6

Can you think of anymore? Let me know in the comments. Until next time. Adios...

family disowns firstborn for freethinking

RADAVAN CITY, Maldives -- In what is otherwise a peaceful neighborhood in the capital of the Maldives, a local household has been shattered to its very core in a baffling turn of events after Ahmed (not his real name), the firstborn of his family, was disowned for, what some are calling, freethinking. Entering the fourth day since the staggering revelation, journalists are still unclear as to the exact nature of the catalytic event. Reporters in the capital have identified questioning authority of parents as the root cause of this incident. Neighbors wait anxiously with fear that other firstborns who live along the cramped streets of Radavan City might join freethinking as well, resulting in multiple disownments.

The authorities have thus far been reluctant to disclose the details as they do not want to publicly acknowledge the action and give legitimacy to disownment. Despite the secrecy, reporters were able to get a hold of the mother. Khadheeja (not her real name), a distraught woman of forty-three (not her real age), told reporters that her first born refused to eat vegetables at dinner.

a baby refuses to eat (file photo)

A police officer, on condition of complete anonymity, told reporters that they were able to formulate a much complicated timeline of the event. It seems Ahmed sat down to eat at 8:25 pm and the vegetables in question were placed on the dinner table at exactly 8:29 pm local time, upon which Ahmed refused. Ahmed refused to eat the vegetables upon continuous insistence by his mom and dad, telling them that the food was, in his own words, 'ewwwww'.

i can think of a few things that are ewwwer than that

"We know he is grownup and all, but he should not question us. We are his parents for God's sake!" Ahmed's father, Ali (not his real name), told reporters. "We have been very accepting of his ways. We let him grow his hair and get piercings on his ears and body." His father shared with the reporters.

"Why...we even accommodate his rowdy friends. And they drink under our own roof and smoke God knows what!" Ahmed's mother chimed in. "This one time he came home after 2 am, barely able to stand. His clothes were covered in blood and he had a knife in his hand. We...we didn't ask any questions. And now he questions our authority? Just like that?? What more could he ask for???!!"

"And did we tell you we provide for him since he doesn't even have a job? We are paying for his motorbike and his coffees and trips. We provide for our own child. We give him all the money he needs. We are damn good parents. He's left wanting for nothing and he does this to his poor parents!" The upset couple shared their story with the reporters. "And the worst bit is that he asked us why vegetables were good for him. He kept asking us why he should eat it. As if our words weren't good enough for him! He brought great shame to this house. How can we face our neighbors and friends and family after he questioned us like this?"

you have the luxury of not knowing what i know, you piece of shit!

Whatever the fallout from this event, it is clear that more disownments would follow as more people start thinking freely. Authorities are preparing for a nationwide crackdown should the phenomenon get out of hand. Till then, all we can do is brace and hope that Ahmed and his family return to their merry ways and acknowledge Ahmed as their son.

Until next time. Adios...

the wizard of maldives: an analogy

The following post is rated 'S' for spoilers.

If there is one thing I like as much as cartoons, it is making analogies out of cartoons. You see, analogies are the perfect way to present an idea and...OK OK. I know you know what an analogy is. Let us get on with the post.

gather one, gather all! it's time to give another classic the maldivian treatment

Unlike Alice in Wonderland, for which I did an analogy sometime earlier (have a look), I remember the Wizard of Oz for haunting me the first time I watched the movie as an innocent boy. I have never been the same innocent naive boy since. The Wizard of Oz opened my eyes to the dark side of life: witchcraft, lions, slippers, and finally, flying monkeys! Not to derail from the subject at hand, but let us reminisce the 'dark side of the rainbow' that had avid readers and wannabes everywhere jump with excitement. What I am trying to say here is that the Wizard of Oz literally is the shit! So...now that I am grown up, mature, and flamboyantly handsome, I want to get to the crux of things and see how I can analyze our God-given pearl of a country through the lens of this timeless classic by Frank Baum.

1. I'll start off with the main protagonist: Dorothy Gale. Miss Gale is not your everyday law-abiding citizen. On the contrary, she is in fact one of the most important people in the universe of Oz. Plucked from her home in Kansas, all Dorothy wants is to get back home. However, she is all that stands between good and evil. Furthermore, she is the brains and muscles of her band of misfits. In short, she has big shoes to fill. More on the said shoes later.

eyes on the shoes! she's not some piece of meat for you to ogle at

Throughout the whole book/movie, Dorothy does everything humanly possible to reach home but keeps falling short and ends up having to help the Wizard every single time. In short, she represents each and everyone of us apart from a lucky few. We all have such high hopes and dreams and whatnot, but the majority of us hardly get there. We get hiccups midway, whether it's getting married and popping out a child, or having to settle finances. Either way, in the end we find ourselves quite far from where we wanted to go.

all i wanted was to be a writer who moonlights as a superhero and i have to settle for writing captions!

2. Tin Man

*sigh* i wish!

Apart from not being everyone's superhero from Marvel (and by everyone I mean those who know superheroes through Hollywood), Tin Man represents the service industry of the Maldives. Sure, Tin Man looks all polished and shiny on the outside, but he's as useful as nipples on a breastplate. Likewise, if you have dealt with any place in the Maldives that serves customers, such as Bank of Maldives, IGMH, Dhiraagu, Post Office, and restaurants, to name a few, you'd rue the day you were born. You would not only get piss-poor service, they'll rape your sanity along the way! At a restaurant they'll charge you an arm and a leg despite the shitty service and unwanted 'souvenirs' in your food. At a queue, there'll be one working counter no matter how many people are in line. Despite where you go, one thing they all have in common is that the staff would go out of their way to ensure you have PTSD by the time you are finished.

my face when i get service at *insert any place you want*

3. I don't really have to explain much for this entry, given the name Cowardly Lion. I remember the first time I saw him on TV and literally shat my shorts. He was that scary. However, five minutes later, even my young and very clueless mind was able to grasp the reality of what was unfurling right before my very small eyes. The King of the jungle, the fucking Maharajah of the freaking animal kingdom, was a sissy!

if this clown is the king of the jungle, i'm the goddamned batman!

So what does this closeted cross-dressing (hint hint) Sultan of the wild represent in our country? His hairy majesty represents the unusual tendency of today's youth. Mainly the males' fashion tastes. Even the most bad ass gangster cum drug lord on the streets wears pink shirts and skinny jeans. I know I'm not the one to talk when it comes to fashion and stuff, but hello! At least wear something that does not make us normal folks question your sexuality. What's even grimmer is that many from the up and coming female generation find this abomination manly. Blech!

 imagine fitting your legs and your family jewels in that cone and try not to cringe

4. Scarecrow

be honest with me here and tell me the warner bros logo at the bottom right of the screen didn't remind you of bugs bunny

Scarecrows have only one God-given purpose in their lives: scare the shit out of pests. And, if the Wizard of Oz has given any indication of it thus far, it's that scaring is the one thing our straw-filled friend cannot do. Likewise, we have a fair number of laws in our nation and even though our Constitution fails to match the lengthy prowess of the Constitution of India, we do have a good amount of laws and regulations to govern the state. Furthermore, the legislature keeps enacting new laws every year to empower relevant authorities to make sure people abide laws of the land. I'll tell you one thing this farce has achieved: These laws and whatnot sure have protected the offenders from having to answer in the court of law. Whether it is due to a technical issue or because of lack of evidence, the laws that are enacted to protect the citizens do everything but!

behave!

5. Nothing says the Wizard of Oz like the flying monkeys. They fly, they're sneaky, and they are monkeys! These pesky apes represent the cancer that plagues our nation: the drug addicts, the murderers, the addicts, the rapists, and the thieves. We can argue that we no longer have the very basic right a human should have: feeling secure in our own house. And thanks to the inability of the authorities and lackluster laws (i.e. entry 4), these pests roam free day and night. All the taxpayers are left to do with is to lock their doors and pray it's someone else that gets shagged. There's a loophole though: you are also someone else's someone else. Did that make sense? Never mind.

it's a bird! it's a plane! it's a...bunchofcrazyparteyscomingtofuckingstabyou!

6. Ruby slippers (as promised)

no, it isn't something to ward off foot worshipers

The ruby slippers, though not technically a character, presents the means for our heroine to go to home. If we look at the current state of the country, our biggest target has been establishing democracy. What better way to represent democracy than by a free and fair election? This is what the ruby slippers is to the Maldivians: the very means to establish rule of law and good governance. Oh, did I not mention that even though the ruby slippers have the magic to take us anywhere, us Maldivians always seem to choose an asshole when it comes to decide who to rule us. This is not something that is happening only now. It has been the same throughout our history. And no, I don't mean the past thirty years. Maldives has been around a whole lot longer than that! In the end, even though we know the people who took a dump on us, even though we know they will do it again, we always re-elect them and place them on the pedestal so that we may cower beneath them while they caress our tresses with their poo.

wait a gosh darn minute! are you telling me we've been going round in circles?

7. If you have been reading this post up to this point, you should know we still have a wizard unaccounted for. It would also behoove you to know that the wizard represents the politicians. We fall for their sleazy tricks. Not to mention, politicians are royal dicks who treat their constituents worse than cum rags unless it's time to vote. I'll paraphrase a quote from an incumbent MP who stated that he bought his seats. That it was a business transaction and as businesses go, he had the right to sell his votes, to shift alliances and to you know...be a royal dick. I just cannot fathom how the hell Maldivians not see all this!

i've read harry potter. wizards use brooms to fly. i call shenanigans! 

8. Wicked Witch of the West

No tale is complete without a formidable villain and the Wicked Witch of the West is as villainous as a villain could be.

can i cop a feel...just a little?

No. She does not personify she-hulk wannabe women who like young girls. She stands for something far worse: xenophobia. We have become so insecure in our faith that we have succumbed to identifying everything based on whether it's blasphemous aka laadheenee or accepted in Islam. Whether it's the death of a fellow human being or whether it's simply wishing a new year, we would rather bicker whether the person would go to hell or heaven instead of praying for peace for the departed soul. Or in the case of sending well wishes on an occasion, holier than thou know-it-alls among us would preach non-stop about how wishing someone during their festivities would mean we accept their religion. And don't even get me started on how we see everything as a crucifix or an idol. I mean, it's not like my faith is a snowflake that would melt once the rays from the sun hits it. Or maybe we feel losing our religion is as easy as losing our virginity. I mean, it's not like I'd slip and enter someone and slip out and slip back in again. Is it that easy?

hmm...not sure if this post is laadheenee or not

Until next time. Adios...

the coconut: the desolation of an unexpected journey to there and back

Prologue:

It began long ago in a land far away to the east, the like of which you will not find in the world today. There was the city of Male, its markets known far and wide, full of the bounties of vine and vale, peaceful and prosperous. For this city lay before the doors of the greatest kingdom in Middle-Earth: Mordis, stronghold of Namaari, King of the Sea and mightiest of the Kraken-Lords. Namaari ruled with utter surety, never doubting his house would endure, for his line lay secure in the lives of his son and grandson.

Ah, Usef...Male'! (pronounced Yoosef) From deep within the ocean itself, the beauty of this island city was legend. Its wealth lay in the ocean in precious gems hewn from rock and in great seams of gold running like rivers through stone. The skill of the Krakens was unequaled, fashioning objects of great beauty out of corals, fish bones, rock, and sand. Ever they delved deep, down into the dark and that is where they found it, the Heart of the Ocean...the Tuna. Namaari named it the King's Jewel, he took it as a sign, a sign that his right to rule was divine. All would pay homage to him, even the great Human King Bod Umanzar (pronounced Bodh Umaanzar). But the years of peace and plenty was not to last. Slowly the days turned sour and the watchful nights closed in. Namaari's love of tuna grown too fierce and sickness had begun to grow within him. It was a sickness of the mind. And where sickness thrives, bad things will follow...

Chapter 1:

It was a day like any other in the lands of Mordis. The sky was azure blue, the ocean dark blue, the sun an orangish-blue, you get the picture. The gulls sang their jubilant songs as the waves washed ashore broken corals, dead leaves and branches, and a coconut covered with seaweed; an ancient sign of things to come. The fisher folk of this small village set about with their daily musings paying no heed to what the waves washed upon the shores. The folks of Mordis were simple and did not care about the goings-on in Middle Earth or about ancient signs. They were a proud bunch of people and prefer their quiet lives. Little did they know, that the forthcoming days would be different. In fact it would be very different, for a man from foreign lands was going to join them tonight for supper. No one knows who or where this stranger came from. Dressed in a white cloak, carrying a bag and unarmed save for his walking staff, the alien stood at the piers as the folks returned with their catch. Traces of white were seen on an otherwise shiny and well-groomed beard. The cloaked figure had a small frame to him and though the hood of the cloak prevented the curious villagers from having a good look, it did not prevent them from seeing the wrinkles of age on the man's face. There was an eerie feeling about him, aided even more by the darkening world as the sun set. Nonetheless, the man had an aura that demanded attention and respect.

"May we help you, old man?", asked one person. Everyone held their breath, and for mere seconds, time froze a little as they wished beyond their wildest dreams that the stranger would understand the local tongue.

"I ask for nothing but bread and mead, and a bosom should you have a pair or two to spare," the man's voice was soft and withdrawn, as mysterious as his appearance.

"Aye, you don't even have to ask. You must be new here, Mordis folks are well-known for their hospitality. We'll be happy to provide you with guest rights," the relief was evident in the village smith's voice. He continued, "...but what is this bosom you speak of?"

This caught the old man off guard for a moment but was quick to regain his composure. "Never mind lads, your guest rites are good enough for a tired traveler in a foreign land."

"Old man, you will have the finest bread we eat and the sweetest wine we drink for as long as you wish to stay with us...," another villager chimed in. There were nods of agreement over the crowd that gathered. Some of the women and the children had now joined to see the commotion.

"That is very kind of you, villagers. You have already given me more than a stranger could ask for," and the old man took off his hood, "But please, call me Acyof (pronounced Achiof). And Lo! I beg of you, why are your females not covering their bodies waist up?"

Even in the midst of the exchange and the sincere concern in his eyes, the crowd got a good look at this strange human. Not only did he ask for unknown gifts from simple fisher folk, he began questioning the appearance of the village females. A normal sane person would have recoiled in horror at this intrusion by a complete stranger, but Alas, not the folks of Mordis, who were neither normal nor sane. They were the children of the sea. They were of salt and tuna.

As the crowd murmured amongst themselves, unable to reason why the women bared their chests, an elderly man walked up to them. Dressed in an old black cloak, white shoulder length hair and a grey beard that was in disarray. Acyof could safely guess this old man was the village Elder as the crowd parted part to let the old man through. The newcomer walked slowly with the aid of a walking staff, each step threatening to give his knees away under the weight.

"Good morrow, Acyof. I am the village Elder, Heebi Jeebis," Heebi Jeebis smiled at Acyof and extended his hand.

"My heartfelt thanks to you, Elder Heebi Jeebis," Acyof took the Elder's bony hand and shook it. Acyof noted that as old as Heebi Jeebis was, he had a strong grip.

"I open my house for you and it would bring great honor on House Jeebis to provide you with all your needs."

With that, Heebi Jeebis turned around and walked away from the shore and onward to the busy streets. Acyof followed close behind to his new home.

The coconut, meanwhile, was nowhere to be seen.

Chapter 5:

Acyof woke up in the middle of the night. It took him a while to realize he has been asleep for some time. The bedside lantern had gone out sometime after he slept and since the moon had set, it was pitch black. Acyof was staring into the darkness wondering why he woke up suddenly when he heard a soft tapping outside. Someone was there. The tapping was steady. Same interval between each tap. Not getting loud either. Cautious, with nothing but his trustworthy walking staff in hand, Acyof slowly walked out of the back door. And there he saw it!

A shadow was lurking in the corner, facing the wall. Its arms were moving back and forth. Thinking it must be a bandit after his money, Acyof wasted no time. He swung the staff at the mysterious figure, all his strength behind the blow. THUD!!! The figure collapsed onto the ground. Startled.

"SPEAK YOUR NAME, BRUTE, BEFORE I TURN YOU INTO A SEAXAN!"

What happened next shocked Acyof. The mystery man started crying loudly. Throughout his life as a traveler, he had never seen a grown man breakdown in front of him and start crying this way.

"Oh come on! It was a jape. I do not know magic," Acyof tried to reassure the wailing man before him.

"I'm very sorry Ser, Acyof," the man said in between sobs. "I was just performing my nightly ritual and..."

Acyof's eyes widened as the realization hit him. "You what, you filthy creature? I should beat you up for this! I don't care what your reason is," Acyof raised his staff threateningly.

"No no. This is not what it seems," the man was on his knees now. "I was going to the toilet and I could not undo the knot on my robe," I was fiddling with it when you knocked me to the ground, Ser. Please don't turn me into no Seaxan. I beg of you!" And with that, the man broke again into hysterical sobs.

"Fear not my strange friend. I would not hurt a single hair of your body."

The scared man got to his feet and shaking the sand off his elbow looked at Acyof and gave a toothy grin, "I am Usel Ess Idiot (pronounced Yoosel As Eediyoth) the..."

"...let me guess, the village fool?" Acyof interrupted.

"Yes! You are so smart, Ser."

"Please, call me Acyof. Nice to meet you Usel," Acyof exclaimed and shook the hand of his newly found fool of a friend.

The unlikely friends laughed out loud while they reenacted the scene of their meeting when the first rooster doodled its cock.

Chapter 17:

Acyof returned home that night after hanging out with his friend Usel. The scene that greeted him would have taken the heart of him, "My friends, your faces take the heart of me. You must tell me what is wrong."

Heebi Jeebis took Acyof aside and whispered in his year, "My daughter, my little Dhaleyka, has been taken as a sacrifice to the sea monster," tears were falling from Heebi Jeebis' eyes as he told of what happened. "On each full moon we have to pick one virgin from the village and send her as a sacrifice to the sea monster. We leave her at the Great Temple in Male. This way, the sea monster spares the people of Mordis until the next full moon."

"No need to worry, my good friend Heebi Jeebis!" Acyof took the Elder's hand in his. "I will save your daughter. I vow on my flamboyant beard that I will."

"Why would you do such a thing for a complete stranger?" Heebi Jeebis could not believe his ears.

At this, Acyof smiled, his eyes full of life and whispered, "For what is a man who cannot help his fellow man but the man who brings a smile to others?"

Heebi Jeebis' face lit up. "May your children be wise and rule the worlds!"

"Please make sure my words about helping our fellow men reach my children. Let these words be my legacy." Acyof had a distant look in his eyes. Acyof has already began to suspect in his heart that this quest would cost him his life.

"But Acyof, it was only figurative speech. You have no children."

"I know, but you will see them soon enough, my Lord," Acyof said with a wink, "I must hasten for there is little time till the full moon rises."

Heebi Jeebis looked on as Acyof turned and left the house, with his walking staff in hand. The black cloak danced in the wind. Echoing the moods of all around him. "Farewell, my friend. May the Gods be with you," Heebi Jeebis prayed as he looked up to the heavens.

Chapter 39:

(After a long journey through the mountains and under the sea with Usel...)

Acyof ran into the mausoleum and saw Dhaleyka lying on the sacrificial stone, naked as the day she was born, crying softly. Acyof walked slowly towards the sacrificial mound. Monster or no monster, Acyof knew that no woman deserved such a fate. Everything was in slow motion now. Acyof could hear his heart skip a few beats as he finally reached the stairs to the stone table. Acyof knew what he would see before he even took the steps. Acyof took off his cloak and took in the full form of the beautiful Dhaleyka before him as he got close and raised his cloak to cover her. Outside, the waves were crashing on the break water, joyous and full of glee under the shimmering moonlight.

Chapter 70:

Acyof stepped back after he covered Dhaleyka. "Fear not my lady. My good friend Usel will take you to safety."

With that Acyof sat on the table as he saw Dhaleyka meet with Usel at the door of the mausoleum. Without as much as a backward glance, they were gone. A few minutes after they left, Acyof heard footsteps. It was not as loud as he expected. When the would be monster appeared, Acyof cried out in disbelief. It was King Namaari!

"What in the Light's name is this?!" Acyof exclaimed. "Your majesty, have you been raping and killing the virgins by using the guise of a sea monster?"

"What the deuce? Why is a man here? Guards! GUARDS!!" King Namaari was beyond bewilderment.

"Your Kingsguard won't save you tonight my Lord," Acyof said grabbing his walking staff as the Kingsguard surrounded him, swords in hand.

Chapter 94:

(After a hard-fought and long climactic battle...)

"Have mercy....," King Namaari cried. He was sweating profusely as the realization hit him that all his guards have been slain by the awesome and handsome hero.

"Fear me not my King, for I will not kill you."

"But why..? Why spare me, stranger? Kill me and at least save my face in front of my people. Let me die an honorable death" The mighty Namaari, the Lord of the Oceans, the holder of the Tuna, was on his hands and knees.

"Embrace the Light, my King. That's all I ask of you. And spread the Light to the people. And base everything you do on the Light, for now and forever!" Acyof walked close to the King and knelt down. "My King, tell the people that I fought with the monster valiantly and killed it despite taking a great many wounds. Tell the people my body was lost into the sea. The people need you as their King."

Tears were rolling down King Namaari's royal cheeks as he nodded.

"My Royal Lord, please tell Heebi Jeebis to travel to the lands of his father, Bod Umanzar and to study magic, for a day might come Middle Earth would depend on him. He knows his destiny and he cannot escape it. Maybe that was why I chanced to be in Mordis to begin with. My Liege, ask Dhaleyka to take care of my child and as my last request, ask Usel to find me."

King Namaari looked gravely as he weighed the requests. "If only it was under other conditions, in another time, on another night, I would have made you the Hand of the King, Acyof. Fear not, I shall not let the people of Mordis fall. I will lead our people to the Light."

"Our people. Our people my Lord...And I would have followed you, my brother...my captain...my king." Acyof got up and walked away, his black cloak flapping in the wind. And he walked into the darkness beyond the mausoleum.

"What...what shall I tell the people the monster was?" The king said to himself.

"Rannamaari, my Lord....so that no one would suspect you...," Acyof's last words echoed as he disappeared into the night, never to be seen or heard of again.

Far away from Mordis, by the banks of a river, a coconut washes ashore, covered with barnacles and moss.

Epilogue:

Centuries have passed since the fateful night at Male and Mordis embraced the Light.

In the Royal Palace, within the confines of a filthy dungeon, the great great great grand daughter of Dhaleyka, plans to murder her second husband and ascend to the Throne of Mordis.

Out in the jungles of the forests of Bhārat, Usel Ess Idiot the Sixth looks for his great great great grandfather's best friend's heir along with his friend Thakur, whose family, unbeknownst to either of them, would one day play a pivotal role in saving Mordis from the Eagles of the Ocean.

Somewhere in a secret place, far beyond the peering eyes of all living things, nineteen hooded figures huddle around a fire. A twentieth figure joins them. Dressed in an old grey cloak, white shoulder length hair and a grey beard that was in disarray. The hooded figures part to let the old man through. The newcomer walks slowly with the aid of a walking staff, each step threatening to give his knees away under the weight. "It is good to see you all here once again, friends. Let us start shall we?" Heebi Jeebis the Grey whispers.

And far beyond the forests and the mountains of Middle Earth, far beneath the deepest depths of the oceans, a dark power awakens...

THE END

Maldives changes her national flag in a desperate attempt to salvage the nation

This image sums up everything one has to say

criminal court sentences serial donor to life imprisonment

The Criminal Court sentenced a serial donor to life imprisonment earlier today. The convict, who pleaded guilty to multiple accounts of donations to charity throughout the nation, will be transferred to the detention and correction facility in Male' City, where he will undergo a pre-life imprisonment medical checkup prior to commencing his sentence.

 

Following a lengthy investigation and a lengthier trial, which the authorities call a 'long battle', the sentence paved way to the impending trials of similar nature. Speaking at a press conference after the trial, the Commissioner of Police said that the hammer of justice would not pardon offenders. "Lately there has been an increase in the rate of crime of various nature. Mind you! We will leave no rock upturned in the fight against crime," he said in what would surely be the authority's biggest challenge to crime syndicates over the country. "We will not...I repeat, the Police will not take lightly...even if it's a simple case of returning a lost wallet to its owner!" The commissioner's threat comes as no surprise since the resurgence of criminal activities in the capital and in the outlying islands, have the citizens living in fear.

Just seventy-two hours earlier, a man previously convicted of helping an elderly cross a road, was caught while holding the door open for a couple at a store. Fortunately, the security guard at the store apprehended the man before he could keep the door open any longer. According to one of the eye witnesses on hand, repeat offenders are what scares her the most. "I just saw a convict walking freely and breaking the law again! Is this how tax payers' money is spent by the government?," the mortified woman told the reporters.

the promised hammer of justice and/or thor

The Minister of Home Affairs was unavailable for any comments. However, a senior official within the ministry; on condition of complete anonymity, confided to the reporters that the recent incidents is just the tip of the iceberg. According to the official, the Police recently uncovered a group of volunteers who went about donating blood to orphans. "I don't know why, but the Police is keeping the lid shut on this case," the official  was quoted as saying. When questioned, the Chief of Intelligence of Police said that the case was still under investigation and that the authorities were working to bring all involved to answer in the court of law. "The roots in this case go beyond the scope of a single group and we have enough evidence to suspect that there are very powerful men behind the operation of these 'terror' networks."

The public has been calling for swifter action by the government and has been calling for the resignation of the judges at the Criminal Court and the Supreme Court. "What can we do? We judge on the evidence presented to us," said the Chief Justice of the Criminal Court during a press conference. "We have told the Police and the prosecutors to give us enough evidence to pass the sentence. If not, our hands are tied behind our backs."

However, the Chief Judge's comments must be taken with a pinch of salt. During the infamous case from November last year, the State tried a suspect who was caught on camera thanking a waiter. The video footage caught on the CCTV camera at the restaurant was presented as evidence at the court and the judge claimed the evidence was not enough to prove that the man was guilty 'beyond reasonable doubt' and judged the man not guilty of committing the heinous crime. During the appeal, even more infamous because it was the third time in the history of the Maldives that the Attorney General presented a case, many eyewitnesses gave testimonies regarding the act of terror. Some eyewitnesses gave testimonies behind close doors with their voices altered to prevent any potential backlashes from the suspect or his associates. In one of the most shocking trials in the country to date, the suspect promised in God's name that he committed no such crimes. "I agree I have done many wrong things in my life. Once...I even helped a little boy stand up after he slipped and fell on the road...but, Allah as my witness, I have never ever said 'thank you' to the waiter in question." Had the State used his confession, the suspect could have faced life imprisonment and quite possibly the death sentence for the crime he previously committed. Nonetheless, due to the reluctance of the authorities, the case eventually fell through and the man walked free.

Whilst the public's outcry goes unheard, the deteriorating respect to law and order within the country continues to this day. It is sad that the crime population is not only limited to males. Just few days after the former incident, a female teacher was caught red-handed while helping a student with a lesson. Fortunately, to the relief of the school and the outraged parents, the teacher pleaded guilty and was sentenced to six months of house arrest. A 'small victory', as put forth by one parent, and yet, such victories are enough to ensure the public that the country will soon become peaceful once again and we would face the promising future hand in hand.

Until next time. Adios...